He's Mad!
by Nadarhem
Summary: In which the Doctor has some trouble landing and finds himself in a strange room full of robed teenagers, and one grumpy professor. Not that the 11th minds, of course. :: One-shot (Two-shot?) Fluff piece (I think?) ::


**Hello everybody! I am hoping you are enjoying the nice summer wheater! Now, this story is a little project a started a while ago, and I abondend it, thought I would never finish it, I only wrote half of it. Anyhow, today I found it again, and some bits made me laugh and I thought this story deserved it to be finished. So here you have it, a little, innocent One shot involving our dear Doctor and the golden trio.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything and I am only writing purely for my enjoyment and that of the readers. All charachter belong to their respectable owners.**

 **NOTE: I'm Dyslexic, so while i re- and reread this piece and ran it through several spelling checkers, it is very possible that a few mistakes escaped my grasp. Feel free to point any mistakes out to me and I will be very gratefull and remove them ASAP.**

 **NOTE 2: This story is also posted on AO3 under the same author name as this one**

 **Although this really, really, really doesn't matter for the story, it is set in somewhere early in The Prisoner of Azkaban and somewhere, I don't know where as it doesn't matter, in the live time of the 11th Doctor.**

 **Enjoy!**

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Harry was always amazed how long an hour could last. He was sure that the potions class should've ended at least three times already. However, it just didn't seem that it would end anytime soon. This lesson was especially tiring, instead of actually making potions, Snape had decided that this lesson should be spend listening to him while he explained the many effects uses of the Asphodel roots and how to recognise it in the wild. To be honest, Harry couldn't care less about 'How to properly dispose of options including Asphodel roots.' He was sure that Snape would come up with some ridiculous questions on the test that would inevitably follow and he knew that he should actually be making notes. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to it, and by the way, he was sure that Hermione would make all the notes he needed. She wouldn't mind lending them to him, right? Well, maybe at first she would. But he knew that she couldn't bear the thought of Harry actually failing the class. Harry's eyes shifted to the person beside him and he huffed. Luckily for Ron Hermoine couldn't bear it the thought of either of her friends failing their classes because it didn't seem like the redhead was making notes either. Instead of scribbling down whatever Snape was rattling on about he was drawing a bunny in the corner of the parchment. However, the bunny started hopping around in the corner with only three legs. Ron frowned slightly at his unfinished drawing. As soon as his quill moved closer to grant the Bunny his last leg, it quickly jumped out of reach. A second try and the result was still the same, that Bunny didn't seem practically fond of the idea of having four legs. Harry had to suppress a sniffle as Ron bit his lip. Ron ignored his friend and his eyes widened slightly as an idea popped into his head. With a small smile across his lips, he quickly sketched a small carrot not far away from where the bunny rested on his three little paws. As soon as Ron finished the carrot the Bunny quickly moved towards the treat and began to nibble on the small bunny delicacy, leaving Ron enough time to draw on the remaining leg. With a grin on his face, he shot Harry a quick grin. Harry rolled his eyes but the effect was lost because of the smile on his own face. But this time, he couldn't suppress a soft laugh.

Immediately Snape's voice lashed out, like the snapping sound of a whip.

'Weasley, Potter! That's ten points from Gryffindor for each of you, that makes twenty, if lost count.

Harry's head shot and his eyes, full of disbelief, locked with the professors.

'Twenty? But we barely made a sound!' He exclaimed before he could stop himself.

'That's ten more from Gryffindor!'

'But-'

'Do you want to make that twenty more, Potter? Because if not, I advise you to be silent.' Snape's soft yet clearly audible voice interrupted him. Harry glared fiercely, wishing that the professor would burst out in flames under his burning gaze. However, he didn't say anything else. Snape was ruthless when giving lectures, and it was true that if you didn't stay silent in one of his lectures your house could literally lose half of all his points. So as much as he wanted to, Harry didn't answer. What helped was that Hermione was sending daggers his way from the other side of the classroom. Clearly, she wasn't happy that the lecture had been interrupted. As she noticed that Harry had seen her she rolled her eyes and turned back to her notes.

When Snape realised that Harry was indeed not going to discuss the matter anymore, a shadow of a smile flashed across his pale lips. He turned around again and his robe whirled behind him.

'Good, now, as I was saying the...'

Snape fell silent and slowly came to a halt as another sound began to fill the damp dungeon. A whirring, sucking sound, growing louder with every passing it seemed to grown louder. Soon, everybody was looking around in the dungeon, trying to figure out where the odd sound was coming from. It almost sounded mechanical...

Harry, however, kept his eyes focused on Snape because a surprised Snape wasn't something you'd see every day. Suddenly the professors eyes grew wide as realisation dawned upon his face. And Harry wasn't the best at lip reading, but he would bet a few galleons that Snape had just mouthed 'Not again...'

The whirring sound was now reaching his peak, and every face turned towards the front of the classroom as a form began to appear. Gasps could be heard when the pulsing form became clear, like a slow heartbeat the blue form pulsed in and out of existence, until with a soft thud the box landed and the whirring sound stopped. Everybody, even those with little muggle knowledge, recognised the box to be a phone cell. However, instead of the traditional red colour, this one was blue. And instead it of 'Telephone cell' the blue box was marked as a 'Police box.'

The whole class was looking wide-eyed to the box that was now standing in front of the classroom. Some mouths had fallen open in disbelief. For a few seconds, there was total silence. Even Snape didn't make a sound as he stared at the intruding box, however, his hand slowly reached for his wand. Finally, when the tension became so thick you could almost cut it Neville gathered his courage and started to speak.

'Sir... what is-'

As if on cue one of the blue doors slammed open. A man practically fell out coughing, immediately followed by thick clouds of grey smoke.

With his hand waving in front of his face to clear away the smoke the man stumbled towards Snape's desk and leant against it, still coughing.

'That... wasn't very... pleasant..' The man managed to say between in the coughs. The classroom was baffled. The intruder didn't like a wizard, as he didn't wear the traditional clothing. He was clothed in normal muggle clothes, with a brown coat and a red bowtie, alongside the brown leather shoes and the dark blue pants, the trousers dispenser finished the look. In one of his hands, he held a thing that could only be described as an oddly formed, short, metal rod with a green glowing light at the end.

The man took a deep breath and straightened his back. Then a spark appeared in his eyes and a huge grin appeared on his face. He sprung up and practically shouted.

'Blimey, what a ride!' However, mid-twirl he froze. Because it was only now that he noticed the room full of robed students looking at him in awe and slight fear.

He slowly lowered his arms and frowned.

'This isn't by any chance the Ganymed, fourth moon of Jupiter 8th of November 3761, right?'

Not waiting for an answer he continued as he did a few steps towards the students.

'Nooo, No, of course not, I don't remember any humans population the Ganymed...' The men said, stroking his none existant beard. Then he gasped.

'Unless you aren't humans!' he said with wide eyes. He immediately raised his metal rod which now was producing a screeching zooming sound as the light flared green. A few peers of Harry let out a short scream and ducked, trying to get out of reach from the crazy man with his metal rod. But the man didn't seem to do any damage or cast any spells, because already the sound had stopped and the stranger was holding the rod in both hands, the light was now sputtering on and off.

'That's odd...' The man muttered, seemingly already forgotten that he wasn't alone. He slammed the rod a few times against the inner of his palm. Mumbling to himself he started to examen the gadget.

In all of this, Snape had barely moved. Just following the intruder with his eyes and his jaws clenched.

'Doctor, I think ther-'

Upon hearing the professors voice the bowtied man swirled around and the smile was back on his face again.

'SEVERUS!' He shouted as he rushed towards the completely black-clad professor. And then something happened what cause many hours of laughter by Ron and actually made Harry's jaw drop. Because when the odd man reached the unmoving Snape he embraced him in a full bear hug, and atop of that greeted him with three kisses. Left cheek, right cheek and left cheek again. It happened in a matter of seconds and when he had finished his greeting he quickly took a step back and started a verbal assault.

'Oh dearie me, Severus, It has been ages! How are you doing? Are you already teaching DADA? How is Minerva doing? Is Dumbledore still headmaster? It has been ages since I've talked to him! Wait, it has been ages, right? What year is it?'

The last question wasn't aimed at the professor, who was frozen in place and not yet recovered from hug and kisses, but rather at the class, which consisted of a group of scared students, very confused students and a few braver ones, who were just amazed. However, there were a few seconds of silence before anybody dared to answer. It was Hermione who was the first to answer the peculiar question.

'It's 1993, sir.' She said, her voice steady and eyes locked with the man in front of the class.

'1993?! Oh dear oh dear, that's awfully far away from 3761, isn't it?' He asked no one is particular as his eyes glazed over and he stared off a bit int the distance, looking rather dreamy.

Hermione, feeling rather brave and curious as ever inched a bit forwards on her chair when she asked the next question with the politest yet firmest voice as she could muster.

'Sir, how come you were able to appear like that? and if I may ask, who are you?'

The man returned to reality, locked eyes with Hermione and shot her a bright smile, a playful spark in his eyes.

'Who I am? I am the Doctor of course!'

Hermione frowned;

'The Doctor? It can't be just ''Doctor'' right?'

The man's smile wavered a bit, like he had been disappointed by Hermione's question. But soon enough he was smiling again and clasping his hands together.

'The Doctor it is indeed, the 11th one, I think. Anyhow, my name is barely important. But who are you?'

For a second, there was no answer, but then Hermione must've decided to that there was little harm telling the ''Doctor'' her name.

'Hermione Granger, sir, pleasure to meet you.'

'Hermione Granger.' The man repeated thoughtfully, being one of the few people who pronounced her name correctly the first time.

'That's a wonderful nam-' Suddenly his eyes widened. 'Wait, you said it was 1993 right?' He asked urgently. Waiting for no answer his eyes started to frantically search the room.

'1993 that mean's...' His eyes landed on Ron and Harry and he gasped.

'Harry Potter and Ron Weasley! This is amazing!' The Doctor looked remarkably like a child in a candy store. he looked like he had a very hard time not starting to jump up and down.

'What, how?' Ron sputtered looking at the Doctor who looked like he had a very hard time not starting to jump up and down.

Harry could very well understand his surprise. He himself was used to being regularly recognised as the fabled Harry Potter, he who killed He Who must not be named only being a baby. But Ron, why did the man recognise Ron? And also, how had the man known that Harry and Ron were both present having learned Hermione's name?

The class didn't know at who to gape, at the Doctor, or at Ron and Harry.

Finally, Snape seemed to have recovered from the Doctor's greeting.

'Doctor, I think the best course of action would be to go seek Dumbledore before you cause anymore if your ''accidents'' like the last times. Snape said trough gritted teeth.

The Doctor beamed with excitement.

'Of course! I'll go see him right away! Now, Severus, if you would please make sure the Tardis doesn't explode while I'm away that would be lovely. Goodbye Children, make sure you floss!' The Doctor said walking backwards to the dungeon door.

'Doctor wait!' Snape said glaring at the man with the bowtie.

'No no, don't bother Severus, I know the way. I think. You would only waste your time! Anyhow, see you soon!' The Doctor waved a last time to the class and the professor before he disappeared behind the thick wooden doors, which fell shut with a loud bang. The silence that followed was sudden, and the only thing that indicated that something strange had happened was the big blue box sitting in the middle of the classroom. That, and the fact that Snape looked like he would tear all his hear out any moment. Harry had trouble remembering seeing the normally stoic professor so angry and torn at what to do the same time.

Then, the room exploded with chatter.

'He's mad!'

'How could he apparate like that?'

'How did he know who Ron was?'

'Wasn't he handsome?!'

'Do you think he's a muggle?'

'Is the box really gonna explode?'

'ENOUGH'

Snape shouted above the rumour.

Immediately, the shouting stopped. Wide eyed the whole class looked at the professor.

'You.' Snape said as he pointed on of his claw-like fingers to Neville.

'Me?' He said barely audible. Neville seemed to shrink in size under Snape's angry eyes.

Snape ignored the question.

'Stay here and make sure nothing happens to the box, and let nobody touch it. Don't dare to touch it yourself either, or you will be scrubbing every stair this school has the rest of school years. Understood?' the professor sneered.

Neville made a kind of squeaking sound and fiercely nodded.

Snape, seemingly satisfied with the answer turned to the rest of the class.

'The rest of you, dismissed.' He said with a flick of his hand. Then, with quick strides he walked out of the classroom.

For a second time, the door slammed shut, and for a second time, there was a moment of stunned silence. Then, the shouting began, even louder than before. Neville's chair fell backwards as he quickly shoved it backwards, racing to the box. Hermione, Ron and Harry shared a quick look with each other, and with a silent agreement, they shoved their own chairs backwards and quickly left the room.

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'But, I wonder how he could apparate like that?' Hermione said out loud. Causing Ron to roll his eyes and sigh.

'For the thousands time Hermione, we don't know! You're the only one that read that bloody history of Hogwarts book, so if anybody is supposed to know, it's you.'

'It's actually; Hogwarts: A History. But, it is clearly stated in there that there are many spells in place around Hogwarts that prevent somebody from apparating. So how did he do it?'

In response to the question, Ron only groaned. Harry adjusted his glasses.

'Well, he didn't exactly apparate, his box did. I think.' He said.

'Hmm, I suppose you're right, but that makes it even more strange. It takes a very powerfull wizard or witch to take big objects with them while apparating.'

'Maybe it was a portkey?' Harry thought out loud. But Hermione shook her head.

'Maybe, but still, a portkey wouldn't be able to get you into Hogwarts.'

A devious grin appeared on Ron's face.

'Well, however he did it, it surprised Snape good. Did you see his face when that man kissed him? Priceless!'

Harry joined and started to grin too.

'Yeah, I have rarely seen him so mad! I was sure he would strangle the man on the spot.'

'Yeah, but what was he doing here?' Hermione inquired.

That was a question none of them could answer. The rest of the remaining hour from potions was spent searching the man, hoping that they would find out more. But they hadn't managed to find him. They had briefly spotted Snape, with an irritated look on his face as he marched trough the hallway, back to the dungeons. They had decided against going to Dumbledore's office itself, seeing that they actually, this time, didn't exactly immediately were connected to the strange man. Except for of course, that he had recognised them.

After their free time had passed they finished their remaining classes and were now headed towards the Gryffindor common room to do a bit of homework and relaxing before the evening meal. The climbed up the stairs in the Gryffindor tower and halted before the painting of the fat lady.

She huffed as she saw them and with a high voice asked.

'Password?'

'Scurvy cur' Hermione answered and immediately the door flung open.

'Behold, for I saw bestow unto you, a trick not many have seen the likes before! Real magic, some may even say!'

The eyes of the three Gryffindors widened as they recognised the voice. How did he get into the Gryffindor common room? They three of them shared an uncertain look but then rushed inside. There, in the middle of the room, with one of his feet on the elbow rest of the armchair and the other one on the elbow rest of the sofa stood the Doctor. The Doctor, who now had one very big black, pointed wizard hat on his head. Something that didn't really fit with the rest of his attire. He didn't wear his brown coat anymore, that was now tossed on the sofa itself. In his hands, he held a set of muggle play cards. He was surrounded by a not all to small group of Gryffindor students, some looked uncertain, other looked eagerly to see what the man had in mind for them. Among them were the Weasley twins, who applauded loudly.

'You go Doctor, show us-' Fred shouted

'-some real magic!' George finished.

'Pick a card!' Shouted the Doctor enthusiastically as he offered his pack of play cards to the crowd.

'What, how did you get in here?' Hermione took a step forward.

The Doctors eyes shot the person who had interrupted him.

'Well, through the door of course.' The Doctor answered, as if the question Hermione had asked had been obvious.

A few gniffles escaped from the crowd.

Hermione, feeling mocked, squinted.

'That's not what I mean, how did you get past the painting? And aren't you even allowed in here?'

'Oh, I can be very persuasive.' The Doctor said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

'And if I'm allowed in here..' The Doctor took his feet from the chair and plopped himself in the red armchair. There, he put one leg over the other and let his elbows rest on the armrests, his fingertips touched each other and so his hands formed a triangle.

'Well, let's just say that nobody explicitly told me I couldn't come here.' He said with half smile, looking rather like either of the Weasley twins planning one of their pranks.

Hermione looked like she wanted to say something else, but Ron was faster.

'Are you a wizard?' He blurted out.

'A wizard!?' The Doctor exclaimed. 'No, no, I'm not a wizard. Do I look like a wizard to you?' The Doctor asked playfully.

'Well...' Ron's eyes shortly shot at the pointed hat the Doctor was wearing. '...Maybe?' Ron raised his shoulders in a questioning manner.

'Well, my dear Weasley, I'm in fact, not, a wizard. I'm the Doctor!' he said, as if that explained everything.

'Stop with the questions!' One of the twins shouted.

'Because-' The other one started.

'he was gonna show us-'

'-some real magic!'

The Doctors eyes lit up with excitement.

'Yes!' and he jumped up from the chair. But as he jumped, the small metal rod fell from his pocket. With a soft ''thud'' it fell on the carpeted floor, and immediately the green light flared on and it started to make odd screeching noises.

'Oh dearie.' The Doctor said as he quickly picked up the small device.

'All this magic interference is making my things run haywire!' He muttered worriedly. He carefully tapped the tip with his fingers a few times. When the screeching didn't stop, he hit the palm of his hands three times, and the screeching finally stopped. The green light sputtered out.

'Hmmm.' The Doctor was lost in thought as he stared at the device.

'What, what actually is that thing?' Harry asked curiously.

'Oh, this old thing? It's my Sonic Screwdriver! Remarkble little thing, will open every door for me and more. But it is of little use here. Almost all your doors are from wood.' The Doctor said, sounding rather disappointed. 'And besides, sadly Magic and Science don't really mix that well most of the time.' The crowd listened intently, yet not really following what the man was talking about.

'Was that why your box was smoking?' Hermione inquired.

'What? Oh, the Tardis! Yes yes, Indeed! You know, I wasn't planning on visiting at all. This place is riddled with fixed points these few years, thanks to you lot running around. But, you know, sometimes that Tardis does what it wants and BAM, I'm here. But even my baby has some trouble going through all the spells this place is surrounded with.' Suddenly, a thoughtful look appeared on the Doctor's face.

'You know, thinking of it, I think I never managed to actually land in Hogwarts. Normally I land in front of the fences, saves me a lot of trouble, really. Hmmm.'

'Or you could just send me an owl, and all will be arranged, my old friend.' A new figure said as he walked into the common room.

'Dumbledore!' The Doctor shouted as he raced towards the headmaster. With two hands he shook the hand of the old wizards, enthusiastically pumping it up and down.

'What a pleasure to see you again! It has been a long time, right?'

Dumbledore chuckled.

'Indeed, Indeed, it has been some time. can I invite you to my office for some tea?' The wizard asked.

The Doctor's face fell slightly.

'Well, I would be honoured, and happy to join you. But, I have some things to tend too before I can properly enjoy my free time.'

Dumbledore nodded, with an understanding smile.

'I understand, but Doctor, for somebody with as much time as you, you are often so awfully rushed.' A playful twinkle sparked in the Headmasters' eyes.

The Doctor smiled.

'In that, you are correct, but time doesn't wait! Not even for me!'

'Well then you shall be pleased to hear that I have arranged that the box of yours is brought outside Hogwarts borders, so you will hopefully have less trouble... taking off? Is that what you call it?'

'Taking off indeed!' The Doctor confirmed with a laugh. Then, he turned around the small crowd.

'Well children, I have to go! Alas, you won't be seeing any of my magic this time, maybe ask another muggle, you'll find they know an awful lot of magic, even if it differents than yours.'

Disappointed shouts came from the crowd, even some booing.

'Don't worry!' The Doctor hushed the gathered children. 'I'm sure we'll meet in one way or another again, and then I'll I show you some magic from my own, but for now, Tallyho!' The Doctor waved at the group and the mentioned to Dumbledore to lead the way.

'After you, Headmaster.' The Doctor said as he mock-bowed slightly.

With a small smile on his lips, Dumbledore climbed through the entrance, closely followed by the Doctor, who waved a last time at the children , his eyes resting for second on Harry, he shot him a last smile, showing his snow white teeth, and then he was gone, disappeared through the hole in the wall.

There was a silence as every student watched at the place the Doctor had just been.

Then Ron broke the silence.

'Well, that was... odd...'

But Harry sighed and slowly shook his head, a smile parted his lips.

'That's just Hogwarts I guess.' He said, marvelling at the fact that now, as a wizard, things would never stop amazing him, and to be honest, he hadn't wished it any other way. He wondered what the next day at Hogwarts would bring.

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 **That was it folks! Thanks for reading! And if you enjoyed, please let me know in the reviews! I know there isn't really a motivator aside for my pleasure to review (Because this story is finsihed :P) I would be really happy if you shared your thoughts with me!**

 **Honestly, Thank you for your time, and have an awesome summer!**

 **And for those in the future, have an awesome whatever season your in! :D**

 **Peace out and Party on xxx**


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